Mom guilt is all too real. There probably isn’t a mom on the planet who hasn’t experienced it from time to time, and it can make you feel incredibly alone, and isolated with your feelings.
If you’re a sufferer of mom guilt, the good news is, there are things you can do to stop it from having such a hold over you…
Think About Whether it Was Wrong
Most of the time, mom guilt is pretty irrational, so it can be quite useful to think about whether that thing you’re stressing over was really wrong. Yes, you had to head off to work at short notice, but your kids loves the local child care, so was that really a problem? Sure, you let the little one watch an hour of TV today, but you spent the rest of the week playing and doing crafts, so does it really matter? If it didn’t matter in the great scheme of things, well there’s nothing to feel guilty about, and if you really could have done better, well now you know for next time. We are all doing every little thing to be the best parents we can be, cut yourself some slack.
If you have that one person who’s always telling your very vocally how they don’t agree with moms of young children going off to work, or who never stops banging on about the so very healthy organic food they exclusively feed to their child, making you feel guilty for your own very valid life choices, steer clear of them for a while, or even think about removing them from your life completely. If you can’t do that, perhaps because they are family, do what you can to change the subject, or if you’re feeling brave tell them how it makes you feel, and always remember that just because someone else parents in one way, doesn’t mean your way of doing things is wrong.
Spend Quality Time Together
A great way to get over your mom guilt is to schedule in regular quality time with your kids, where you can spend a whole day playing, laughing, talking and being together. Even if you can only do this once a week, it will make you feel a whole lot better, especially if you take the time to do the kinds of things that you can’t easily fit in on the average weekday such as visiting the local farm park or baking cakes in the kitchen.
Remember Children are Resilient
Children are resilient, so even if your child spent the morning crying because you had to go to work or they had to go to daycare, doesn’t mean they’ll still be crying about it in a week from now, heck they may have gotten over it by tomorrow morning. After doing many years of daycare I learned that they are often done crying moments after mom is out of sight like nothing has happened. Then suddenly you are interrupting their play time… go figure.
Ditch the mom guilt once and for all – it doesn’t help anyone!