Now to introduce myself… the long way… (dates are estimates and this is paraphrased)

Now my goal here isn’t to give you my life story, its just to give you the best idea of who I was and who I am now.  Let me be the one to say I have no idea what would have happened had I not come to Burnaby, but i highly doubt it would be as rewarding.  I have learned so much about myself, sometimes and usually the hard way, but nonetheless I have learned something.  

It all started with, yet another, eviction notice.  My father was classic for never being capable of keeping a place for very long, let a lone nine times out of ten it ended in an eviction.  So my father had managed to make us homeless and I forced to go and live with my ill (both mentally and physically) mother back in Burnaby where I grew up till about the age of eight.  Needless to say you can imagine that I was a pretty numb little girl towards my father and I was neither happy nor sad to leave him… honestly leaving him meant leaving my free pot source which I guess is where you would find my reservations towards leaving him.  Fact of the matter is I found myself in Burnaby… but I was attending High school in West Vancouver and I was enrolled in many specialty classes that weren’t offered at many other schools… not to mention I was only about three months away from the end of my grade twelve year.  I was faced with a decision, screw up my last year of high school by staying in Burnaby and switching schools… or screwing up my last year of high school by not switching schools and staying in Burnaby.  I obviously just stayed with my current school, friends etc and added about a two hour commute two and from school EVERYDAY.  Not to mention the fact that my poor mother was on disability and could exactly afford to take care of me on a full time basis so I not only had to commute to school I had to be employed while doing so.  I got a job about a block from my mothers house in a bakery.  

The bakery was a great place to work with very supportive people who have known my mother and her crazy ways for a very long time.  But, with school, work, and of course basic teenage rebellion I can say that school kinda just stopped… waking up at 4am everyday and working until about 10pm at night wasn’t working for me.  I would find myself doing my homework that i had no time for on the buses to and from school and I would find myself skipping classes to smoke pot and chill out from my constant feeling of impending doom!  But through the cloud of hazzy smoke and flour clouds I met my hubby.  He would make the muffins and I would drop, package, and sell them… it was love at first bake.  About a week into our relationship his childhood best friend was murdered, ironically during a poker game we didn’t go to because “I didn’t want to.”  A week following I was kicked out of my moms house and living with him and his gracious family.  I don’t think I have to say this about about six months of living with all of them we moved out into our own apartment which went very well for a few months but then…

Next six months was filled with a lot of stupid decisions…..

After the last six months of stupid decisions I found myself finally sober and back at my hubby’s parents house yet again.  A few months after that I became pregnant with our first born.  Here I am nineteen and pregnant; very scared, and so thankful that my hubby didn’t run screaming.  We decided to stick it threw and he was a man who stood up for his responsibilities.  We took care of eachother as best as we could living in and out of a lot of places about every few months just making ends meet.  By the time our little man had arrived we were still all over the place, but we were together emotionally.  We were amazing, this little man had brought to us an insane love I can’t even describe.  

Three months later my mother passed away from lung cancer, killing me.  Now I am a young mother without my mother… taken from me because of the selfish decision to smoke.  My poor mother.  I managed to just live day to day, month to month when i found myself pregnant again… due date?  Feb. 17th 2010…. anniversary day of my mothers passing.  My second born was actually born on his exact due date (3% chance by the way), turning his birth into a “full circle moment” as Oprah would say.  So here I am, 22 two kids, dead mother, strong hubby… So what have I learned??

the only important thing you get out, and give to the world is love… nothing else.  

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