Biscuit Challenge 2010

It all started with an incredibly strong urge to bake something; what I did not know all I knew is that it was going to be delicious and I refused to mess it up.  Like gardeners have a black thumb; I, in fact, have a black “spoon.”  I have pretty much completely incapable of baking anything without messing it up on some level.  My hubby on the other hand is the baker so he has been stuck with the task of making cookies, pancakes and the like.  So I took it upon myself to attempt a recipe neither one of us had done… by myself…
The following are my instructions on how to attempt a baking recipe whilst baking challenged:

Read the instructions SEVERAL times before attempting anything.
So here I am looking at this recipe saying to myself, “Oh God what am I thinking?!”  I proceeded to collect my ingredients. 
ALWAYS collect all your needed ingredients, triple check you have everything cause believe you me you will leave something out and it WILL be important!
I, terrified i’m going to mess this up, pour two cups of flour into my poor excuse for a baking bowl.  I accomplish this small task without anything horrible happening to me, the kitchen or anything else around me… success!  I add in one tablespoon of baking powder and a quarter teaspoon of salt and stir.  
Another great tip; try and find recipes with accompanied photographs… just in case…
I measure out six tablespoons of COLD butter, cause this makes a difference somehow.  I used to knives, instead of one of those pastry cutter thingies cause i don’t have one, and cut up the cold butter and dry ingredients until the butter kinda look pea sized in the flour… I know it didn’t get this perfect but it turned out okay anyway.  
So yourself a big favour and QUADRUPAL check your wet ingredients, cause I always messed doughs/batters by making them WAY too wet.
Now not only did I have the notion to finish this recipe and forcefully overcome my baking challenges; but I had it in my pretty little head to add cheese to this basic biscuit recipe that gave NO instruction on how much or what do to if you wanted to add these such touches.  So i just went for it and grated cheese straight over the bowl till I thought it was enough to my liking.  Added in my double checked, triple checked three quarter cup milk measurement with a shaky, sweaty hand and started mixing faithfully with my dollar store wooden spoon… waiting.  Then, before my eyes came a normal, not deformed, soggy or dry; basic biscuit recipe dough ball was created.  
Realize that you are going to make a mess it doesn’t matter what you want to happen in your little imaginary world you are going to make a mess NO MATTER WHAT!  So get used to it and embrace it, get your kids in on it and enjoy the mess.  My eldest just loved to draw with his finger in the flour lol.
I carelessly threw flour onto my marble counter top and placed my dough ball on top of my floured countertop as my son looked up at me, as his finger dips into the flour on the counter and he puts it in his mouth, and says: “Good.”  How plain flour can be good I don’t know, but regardless I took my rolling pin in hand tossed flour on top of my dough creation and started to roll it out and flipping it and rolling it out again.  Once I had managed to roll it out to a proper thickness I was now in hunt of a cutting tool to shape my biscuts.  I wanted them slighty smaller than a cup but bigger than a shot glass.  I assume you could use anything you pleased.  I preheated my toaster oven to four hundred twenty five degrees and started cutting out my perfect little circles of yummy goodness while watching my son steal small little pieces of dough of putting them into his mouth before I have time to even blink.  Meanwhile my youngest starts screaming… I start cutting faster.  I throw them into my toaster oven and pick up the wailing two month old immediately and whip out a boob!  Aaaaahh… silence… priceless… thank heavens. 

My little biscuit buddies were soon golden brown and ready to come out and be eaten savagely by my family… aaah but wait… what are cheese biscuits without garlic herb biscuits!!  Then there I go again once dairyland was able to close I went ahead and started it up again with another flavour combination filled with a large sense of accomplishment and invincibility! Now… if only these biscuits would make me LOOSE wieght instead of gain it… 

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2 Comments on Biscuit Challenge 2010

  1. OK, I know you are not going to believe this, but I just this SECOND made biscuits. I did not have self-rising flour, so I substituted regular flour and added extra baking powder. I did not have buttermilk, so I substituted with a creamer/milk combo. I did not have sharp cheddar cheese, so I substituted with Mexican shredded cheese.

    And I did not feel like rolling them out, so these are drop biscuits.

    No way I screwed these babies up.

    Snort!

  2. omg yum!!! If you don’t have buttermilk you can use sour milk as a substitute :D; kinda yukky but it’s true.

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